I’ve never considered myself a princess yet, in the last few weeks that very title have been coming into my awareness. What really added to this is when old past life memories in Kyoto came up out of nowhere, where I was a complete mess after watching a short program about the Aoi Matsuri festival. Kyoto, even though I always felt a resonance about the place, I never felt nowhere near as emotional as I’ve have been about it in the last month or two. Not only that, but I was drawn to the manga Gate 7 that took place in Kyoto where the main character too, was always drawn to the beautiful location.
I did a reading about this whole “princess” thing and it brought up a lot of fear. Fear of being noticed, being powerful, being rejected, seen as superior and better than others. I always had this push and pull energy with power, I heard that it was okay to be powerful yet, I was afraid of it because of what power does to people. People with “power” hurt others especially physically, I didn’t want to be like that so I didn’t want to be powerful. It make sense when I write it out to myself. Why would I choose power if I know so much about how it hurts people, how it hurt me time and time again? I’m not a bad person and I don’t want to be associated with anything that “bad people” are so of course I would push it away when it comes up.
But I realized during the reading, while I was talking about my feelings about the word power, it had nothing to do with physical power. It had nothing to do with “having the power” to hurt or put fear in others, it had nothing to do with not being your true self. Power and that energy is about your inner strength and conviction, it’s a spiritual power that has nothing to do about how much you can bench-press but how you affect others through your words, gentle touch and spirit. It’s like I never considered that other side of power before, but when I let myself open up enough, the wisdom came through. I had no reason to fear my own power anymore, though I still have deep rooted limited beliefs to work through.
Whenever the angels or spirit would tell me how powerful I am and how my purpose was special I would shrink in dread. “Please don’t tell me that! I just want to be normal, I don’t want a special purpose or be powerful. I don’t want to be better than other people” But the angels never suggested that, all they did was show me the truth. I am powerful, in a sense that I can change my life in a huge way, I can be myself and proud and affect people with that very power. I’ve seen it happen throughout my life yet I don’t want to take true “credit.” In fact, I feel uneasy that I have that great of effect on others.
Simply put, I learned that being a “princess,” having an important purpose, and being powerful isn’t about what I always assumed. It’s a much lighter, loving and embracing energy that I’m blessed to have and to have that power to gift people in many ways. My fears on power or sticking out was because it was founded on how other powerful, loving and good meaning people got ridiculed, teased, beaten and even killed for it.
No one wants that.
At the same time I have to let go of this fear because not accepting this in myself isn’t being who I really am, and being powerful doesn’t mean death, there are plenty of love and thankfulness that goes out to powerful people because they are who they are.
Life isn’t a competition, I don’t have to prove or convince anyone of anything and I surely don’t have to hide myself because of what other people might think of me. It’s easy to blame and hate people with power (good or bad) because they do a great deal of change, but it takes so much strength, energy and time to become one and create change yourself.
That is what separates people that change the world, and people that don’t. That decision to access their own power and not be held back by those that think they shouldn’t be who they are, or to stand up for what they believe in.
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