The funny part about that is this power greeted me. I didn’t want to interact with it because of my own beliefs about it. Most of which was from society and what I learned about power growing up. I thought it was dangerous, that my earthy and animalistic side to me was something I had to overcome. It was lower, not worthy and had nothing good to give. Yet, I found so much love, true love for myself that I never felt before in my life. It’s not just the self-love that I’ve grown from this place that surprises me the most, but the cleansing effect it gives my life.
So much of my past, old energies and just limited beliefs where held up inside me, just sitting there. But once I finally stop resisting my own power, and finally engage with what the universe had graciously given me, the power to heal very old wounds came about. I felt so good dancing with this partner of mine.
She is so beautiful, wise and mysterious. She came to me in my most private moments, just waiting for me. As shocking as it was, I listen to what she had to say and good god was it amazing. I wish I wrote down everything she said but she told me truths about the real power that I had and how important for those powers to run free. Power like this can’t be resisted forever, it’s a divine gift that was meant to be experienced by those that are ready. And as much as I want to deny it, I was ready. That potential was always there, I was just mislead by the world about my own source of power.
I can’t explain everything in such a short amount of words of how I feel about this part of myself but I know that this is something I had no idea was waiting for me. Just to feel this surging power flow throughout my being is more than I can take sometimes. It makes me wonder why the world wanted to hide this away from me? As if they were protecting me from danger?
The most dangerous thing to do is hiding this in the first place, making me think that my own divinity is something to be ashamed of. It can be considered unholy by those that see others abuse this power but why damn the whole concept when a few others took it for granted. Moreover, I can understand why this power was “hidden” from the conscious eye. If everyone had access and can control their own power, this world would be a much different place.
We wouldn’t walk around expecting others to give to us what we can only give to ourselves. We wouldn’t be so quick to give our everything to everyone, and we would be a lot more powerful physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. That is what my wild and fearless spirit is trying to tell me, I have all these gifts but they are hidden by the limited beliefs of my own culture and species. I have to explore these magical places within myself and embrace my own being along with them.
She taught me that in this unique journey, there is nothing to be afraid of in this “dark” place that people told me about. It’s safe, nurturing, grounding and magical. It’s nothing what people have been telling me for years.
It’s much more powerful than that, and it’s something that I have complete access and control of. Which scares the absolute shit out of people, and why they choose to hide it in the first place.
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