I love art so much that I would rather sit around and let it die than risk the hurt of doing it and falling on my face again. If art was my lover, I would be the type of boy that would never commit to the one guy that actually wanted me. I would self-sabotage the relationship early because I would be too afraid to dive deep into its love and fail the expectations I have on myself and my lover.
I don’t want to hurt myself or my art again, as strange as it sounds. Art means everything to me and when you really love someone or something you do some crazy shit to protect it, even if it hurts you at the end.
Talking about these feelings, I know that there is nothing to be truly afraid of. I shouldn’t draw for a certain outcome but for the fact I can draw at all. Joe told me that and it really meant something to me. I attach so much stuff onto the things I love to make them more “meaningful” that I end up suffocating the passion I have for it altogether and I’m sick of doing that. I just want to enjoy my skills and art again, no matter if I make money from it one day or not, whether people like it or not or whatever end result I’m looking at. That’s not the point to why I draw.
I draw because it’s fun, I draw because it’s comforting, I draw because I love it, I draw because I enjoy it, I draw because it’s my soul's passion in life; so why should I let money or anything else get in the way of that?
I shouldn’t and I’m changing it right now…
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