Vision 62: Emotional Mood Manager

I just did some EFT work and I feel so amazing. For a long time now, slowly, I was building up a really frustrated energy inside myself. Energy of resentment, anger, frustration and just suckiness. I was feeling this way because I felt I was responsible for my family’s feelings and moods. When they were angry about something it was my job to fix it somehow. I was following the role of the “good girl,” the one that would try to fix everything and make everyone happy.

This year I'm currently doing a lot of work on myself to keep my focus OFF of them and onto myself and my life, but gradually, that focus became bigger and bigger once again. In fact, a lot of my old isms came back across the board. I wasn’t happy with myself being an artist because I was a “failure,” I’m trying to make a program but I’m focused on making it perfect. I’m wanting more money and change because I want to escape my (drunken) family life. All of my actions and reactions is based on old fears and programming, and a lot of what I was doing to ease them was either making me resist it more, or just not working as effectively. It was just a struggle.

But this morning, a lot of that anger starting to bubble up despite my calm morning, I just couldn’t help it. After hearing my sister giving her puppy away to the SPCA in a few days, her crying, her woes and how everything is “fucked up” in the last few weeks I just wanted to scream. Again, it felt like I wanted to jump in and save her from herself, to make her happy (or shut up) and manage her emotions. Yet, I’m really bad at it, I can barely manage my own sometimes, yet I expect to get the job done for my own family, it’s insane! I do things in hope that it would make things better yet nothing changes, she still drinks, get upset and not really change her life, she just flounders, thus my resentment grows.

I was so angry and resentful for my family not changing when I’m doing so much in my own life, I didn’t know what to do. I want them to change to make my own life better, I want them to change for me more than for themselves, I’m selfishly caring about my own emotions more and more. I want my life to be awesome and great and I feel that they are shitting all over it. I know that is not true, are lives is our own but again the old isms were back in full swing. I wanted and did blame them for my life’s short comings, and in trying to change them without any luck I starting to resent them for it. Not good.

So in my round of EFT, I discovered I was again still playing the role of the emotional mood manager, and come to find out I really suck at it! In fact, even if I was being paid for it, I would get fired on the spot! It’s nearly impossible to make someone happy no more than it is to take control and make their whole life a happy one! I just don’t have the tools, power or know how to do that sort of work. I wasn’t made for the job at all.

However, I am made for my own purpose of joy, love, creativity and freedom. I have everything and more to not only do a good job but to spread it to others through my wake! Yet, I can’t even come close to do that because of the same job and title I keep playing out. So I decided to quit that job as the emotional mood manager and finally take up my inborn role and purpose in joy! And gosh does that feel good!

After that round of EFT (and clearing out that role out of my body, DNA and energy bodies) I felt a “cleansing” in myself as if I really did clear out that role! Even hearing my sister having a hard time I didn’t feel that “ting” to want to jump in and save her! I felt completely fine, and even better, I felt super happy remembering my true purpose in joy in spite of it!

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Vision 53: Artist Manifesto

 

I want to be an artist because it feels good to create the images in my mind. It feels good to recreate the things I see. I love creating the stories in my head and coloring the pictures I make.

I love making themed things and looking at my drawings and creations. It feels good to morph and shape my pencil sketches with my pens and see the personality of the picture come alive. I love making things that are meaningful to me. I love drawing and being inspired in the moment.

I love creating things that I see outside of me and making them more real in my mind. I love following my inspiration and making characters that are pretty. I love pretty pictures, I love making pretty pictures the most. I love the magic of making a picture pretty, sweet, happy and serene. I love making pretty pictures so much that it's all I want to draw. I want to draw sweet pictures that always makes me feel joy 100% of the time. I love the feeling of making sweet pictures, I love knowing that I make sweet pictures, I love knowing that I’m the one that makes pictures like these. I feel inspired to do more every day. I feel inspired to create more color in my life. I feel more inspired to create from that inspiration.

I want to be an artist because it feels good to me. It feels like my path of least resistance. It’s what gives me joy every day, it makes me really awesome friends. It gives me inspiration to live life more. It gives me ease and a relaxed feeling. It comforts me and I get to express myself.

I love expressing myself. I love creating from my experience. I love knowing that I can create from my experience. I love the feeling of what it feels like to create from my experiences. I love looking at all the art I done. I love seeing how well I did it. I love seeing how I improved. I love feeling the rush of how good it feels to be an artist right here in the moment. It feels good to have that super power. It feels good to know that this will become more.

I love that people see me drawing and love it too. I love that other people love what I love. I love that connection to my source through my work. I love the rush of inspiration. I love that becoming of more of who I am. I want to be an artist because I love it and I can’t stop thinking about it every day. I have to be an artist because that is all that I want to know and do know no matter what I do in this world.

I want to be an artist because it makes me feel really good and I have no excuses not to feel good. I want to be an artist because it’s what I love. I want to draw because it’s what I enjoy and love about being an artist. I want to draw because I can do it. I want to draw because it flows. I want to be an artist because it feels big, huge and I’m already am that.

I want to draw but I am afraid. I’m afraid because I feel like I have to be huge and I don’t feel that I am right here at this moment. I don’t feel huge, but I still feel like an artist. I feel like an artist because I do art all the time in so many different ways. I still draw lots and it’s always become more and more.

I love that no one cares what I draw but me and that I can take control what I draw in every moment. I’m blessed to become an artist, even though I have my ups and downs. I wouldn’t change anything because I love being an artist so much and changing my reality to what I see in my mind.

Being an artist is just being creative and I’m very creative, so I haven’t stopped drawing completely. I’m still creating every day and I’m really good at it. It makes me feel good to see all the creations that I make, see and feel. I’m so happy to be an artist because I’m blessed with the ability to create. I’m blessed I can make the images that I love on the computer. I’m blessed because I can do it. I’m blessed because that is my path, this is what I came here for. This feels right to me. It feels like effortlessness. It feels like it’s calling me gently. It wants me to be there but it’s not forceful. It wants that lovely connection with me. It wants me to connect to it. It wants me to be inspired. It wants me to create whatever I want. It wants me to feel safe. It wants me to be here, right now in this moment to just love and adore myself for being an artist and to know that is my life’s journey and that I enjoy being an artist.

It wants me to just know and to feel it and to just enjoy it. It wants me to love me as an artist and to love my ability to do it.

That’s all, that’s it.

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Vision 42: What I Want to Invest In

Lately, I’ve been doing all I can to feel abundant and positive about money. Since joining the Money Money Money group and having that springboard knowledge and breakthroughs about my money relationship, I have way more tools on how to improve it.

So far I use visualizations, vision boards, storytelling, affirmations, meditation, journaling and playing with real physical money and so much more to conger the feeling of having money and more than enough of it. It’s been such a fun thing and I actually look forward to it in the morning. In all of that, I felt the need to write about what I wanted to invest my money in, because it’s not how you attract it that matters but how you spend it also.

What I want to invest my money in is my own freedom and all the activities I really want to do. I want to be able to move out and into my own bright, roomy and comfortable home. I love the shabby chic style so I would want to decorate my home in that fashion. I also love anime, cartoons video games and such so I want to make a really fun and comfortable living room area with a big TV and a shelf that houses all of my consoles and DVDs.

The kitchen would have tons of natural light and just the right size for me to cook all the things I would love to make. I actually talked about this in my shabby chic post I made last week.

What I really want to invest in is a business coach that can help me expand on my creative intuitive business and create a more fun and effortless way to bring money into my experience. I would invest a lot of money in my creative intuitive business because it’s something very close to my heart. In fact, I feel like it’s a part of my purpose and a great unused tool. I often combine my “need” for money with my “love” for my creative intuitive business that results in me stalling on what I really want to do with it. I procrastinate because I’m afraid of things not working out or that I won’t make any money to truly support myself…

This is so crazy! I felt the need to write down what I wanted to invest in (I felt that for a few days now actually), and when I started to talk about my business a huge light bulb went off! It’s like a shining key that’s saying “Use me! Use me” but I’ve internally stalled myself so much in really building it that I ignored it and fell back into my old story. The one business story where I’m unhappy with what I’m doing and nothing works. Yet, this year I created something that is so far from that story that inspires my whole life. I know this is something I want to do and do well, I’m just letting my own fears and limited thinking steer me away from that.

I’m thinking this was the universe’s way for me to realign to what I really want and REALLY invest my time and money in it. I really want to invest in this new business story and everything I am in it, because I know how much this would mean to me for this to work. To actually have a steady stream of people coming to me for my fun and playful readings and products!

So that is what I want to invest my money in (among other things for sure lol) and something I’m going to continue to work on for myself and my own happiness. I’m sure when I start working on something that I love the money will show up in really crazy ways!

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Vision 33: Scripting and Focus

 

I found scripting to be one of the most fun and creative processes in Abraham’s long list of processes. For some reason it really speaks to me and as an artist I feel like I’m painting a picture but with words, so I feel very at home. Since noticing how much storytelling, roles, writing and manifestation has interest me and getting some positive results from it, I want to start talking about what I learned and share some tips on how to change the “story” of your life.

Why Focus is so Important in Manifestation and Scripting

The number one thing that everyone should know about manifesting is focus. What you focus on, think about, talk about and just hold your attention to is vital. It’s vital because whatever you’re focused on, you’re receiving some type of emotional response from it, and if that response is negative than your point of attraction is negative. Thus you’re going to attract some unwanted stuff.

For example, your life isn’t what you want it to be, you have a crappy job, your relationship isn’t fulfilling and you don’t have enough money to survive, you have a lot of negativity going on and I’m sure you’re reminding yourself about it every day. You wake up with dread, you think about the bills coming in, you have a less than loving conversation with your mate and then you go to your crappy job for most of the day.

You’re focus is on the negative, what’s not working, what’s going wrong and what could go wrong, so it’s safe to say you’re manifesting from lack and worry, which in turns will bring more of it.

The truth is, no matter what is happening in your life, your “focus” will bring whatever it is you’re focused on. So whether you’re living the “great life” or “stuck in poverty” it’s your focus on what’s working vs. not working that keeps you in your circumstances, not the circumstances themselves.

So What’s this Focusing Stuff has to do with Scripting and Why it is Important?

When you script, you’re creating the perfect life or circumstance that only you can create, it makes you focus on the positive and the changes you want to see in your life. The reason why people stay stuck in lack luster circumstances even though they try hard to make law of attraction work is because they lack a laser like focus on things that produces good feelings.

Yeah, it might seem like they are doing everything in their power to change their life, but if you’re constantly falling into despair, hopelessness, and just negative emotions, all you’re doing is putting that great energy into what you DON’T want in attempt of trying to get what you do want. It’s not about “doing” but what you’re currently “feeling.”

It is the emotions that you have while you’re doing what you’re doing that determines if your point of attraction is positive or negative, not that you’re putting in effort or proving a point by working hard.

The point is to feel good and have positive emotions; that is where you’re focus (what you think, take action from and talk about) should be and the place where real change happens. Without that focus on positivity it’s very easy to stay stuck in the same nasty situations.

This is why scripting is such a handy and fun tool. Without a lot of work you can create a positive focus that doesn’t require much effort or attention to get it going! You can use your new story every day and remind yourself of what you desire, what you want to change and the positive feelings you want to experience every day.

It’s not like doing other LOA processes like a chore that has to be different every time you do it (like listing positive aspects), but a fun, inspiring story that doesn’t even take 10 minutes to read. It’s a road map of what you want and the type of things you need to start creating so it will fit into your new reality. It’s your road map of focus, desire and a way for you to keep positive focus even when your “now reality” isn’t that great.

So if you haven’t yet, start scripting out your perfect day or the way you want your life to be and read it every day. Focus on what is going right in your life and just things that make you happy. If you keep that focus long enough it will start to grow into more noticeable manifestations!

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