Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Vision 76: Struggle

Learn to stop struggling LOA

Today during my walk, I had a really great conversation with my guide Joe. I was telling him how when I was younger, I wasn’t this over the top passionate go getter like I am now. It really put in perspective of how I naturally functioned as a child and what traits I’ve developed in my adult years.

When he heard about that, he probed and asked me more questions relating how I basically made goals (or lack thereof) and how I go after them. Having this conversation, I learned that my struggle, the same struggle I’ve been having in the last 5-6 years of trying to make a thriving business, be a great artist or whatever I wanted was because I didn’t want to struggle in life anymore.

When I was younger, I didn’t have the intense problem(s) as I do now, it didn’t push me to overcome them and make big goals to eliminate them. The things that I did for fun, I did for fun, I had no real goals to become the best, to have some huge destiny or have some huge influence over the world. Only till my later teens and eventually when I became a young adult, things changed. When the recession hit, while I just got into college, the threat of losing my home became the center fold of my life, even now. From what I thought then was my saving grace the book, Creating Money, came into my hands. That was my first book on Law of Attraction, and through that book I learned that I could create the life that I wanted.

From then on, my goal was to fix my (or really my family’s) life of struggle and to make a business that I loved. However, on the journey to do those things I picked up very unhealthy and damaging beliefs about who I should be to become successful. The traditional ways of business goes against my very nature, and quite frankly I learned to work hard at it. Nonetheless, it just kept me in the same situation for years.

As time went by and my dreams and desires changed, I noticed that the common denominator was that I wanted my intended result to stop my life of struggle. And trying so hard to succeed and noticing how I wasn’t or couldn’t get there kept me in struggle more, so then I only attracted struggle as a result. Which leads me to where I was (and on some level now), spinning my wheels not going anywhere.

I realized this afternoon, that it isn’t my issues (through it is a small part of it) that was the reason I haven’t succeed in the things I wanted, but my desired intention was impure. I wanted the success to save me from my problems and struggles (what I didn’t want), it was the message I was sending to the universe. I wasn’t doing it because I simply loved doing what I was doing. I wasn’t focus on how good it felt or the fact it will grow into something more (what I did want). I pushed myself very far in everything I thought would be the magic solution for me, that one thing that would make me rich or simply change my life of struggle. But that isn’t what I was sending to the universe, all I was sending was the fact I hated my life and how nothing worked out for me, then worked harder to fix it and the cycle continues.

I learned an important lesson today, I have no need to struggle if I just stop struggling. I don’t have to overcome lifelong afflictions, family drama and dysfunction to succeed. All I need is to focus on what I love and allow the universe to bring it to me. I don’t need to do anything extra to be in an allowing place, just practice the feeling of it.

It’s as if for a really long time I’ve been going up the same mountain over and over again in hopes to find my destination, when all I had to do is look at the map and follow its path. I have no need to struggle anymore. I have no need to beat myself up for not being a better person.

All I need to do is praise myself and what I love and focus on those things because it’s the reason I want to do anything, because it feels good, not because I want to stop what I don’t want.

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Saturday, December 20, 2014

Vision 75: End of an Era

how to move on from negativity

A few days ago, I just received the most amazing news I could ever hear! That indeed the universe and Archangel Michael has known my prayers and troubles and is making a way for me to finally leave a very toxic way of living.

I’ve been living in a household that is indeed very harmful in a lot of ways. Because of this, I’ve developed very dysfunctional ways of thinking and living. This toxic mindset has disabled me from truly accessing my power and what I really wanted for years. I didn’t believe I was worthy, I had to fix everyone around me, everything was my fault and if I can’t fix it then I was a bad person. This thinking has plagued me for most of my life. I didn’t allow myself to have good things, not really on a deep level.

It took me a long time to come to a place where I was willing to put everything around me on the back burner and make myself a real priority. But in doing that in 2014 I’ve regained and discovered parts of me I didn’t even know existed. Positive traits that I wanted to have but believed I truly lacked in myself.  Life was confusing for a long time but I’m happy to say, through my path of recovery, a lot of the fog has lifted.

Hearing this wonderful message from Clio, the reader that took my question, beyond spoke to me. It actually opened me up to speak my truth and be honest with myself. My struggle of following my intuition vs. the opinions of others was intense, I didn’t really know what was the right answer. Yet, somehow, following my intuition of asking about my life purpose in art, I got the answer to the question I always wanted to ask. This gave me permission to actually step forward to leave this toxic household and not feel bad for it. AAM let me know that I wasn’t a bad person and I was overdue to leave this situation for a long time now. The only thing that was stopping me was myself, and my own belief that I wasn’t worthy enough, strong enough or able enough to do it without the universe’s green light.

Even though I have gotten the green light, the real blessing is that I’m not a bad person for leaving, in fact, it is vital to my life purpose to do so. So I don’t have to feel bad anymore and block the next step to actually making it happen. I wanted this for so many years and without any improvement or promise of it happening I stopped asking and just accepted where I was. This was a good and bad thing at once, it was great because I wasn’t struggling to leave (at times) but at the same time, I was stuffing down my true desires and feeling bad for not getting what I really wanted.

Seeing other people have what I so desired for myself was tough to bear at times, but I trusted my intuition that it was on its way and I will get it eventually. This however, is more than I expected because it is like I have no reason to hold myself back, the whole universe and then some is on my side wanting this for me as much as I am. I don’t have to question myself anymore or my intuition, I’m following my guidance perfectly and I’ll get to where I need to be in no time.

I can finally allow myself to have what I want, align with it and let the next steps reveal themselves without so much internal and external struggle.

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Saturday, November 8, 2014

Vision 65: What I Love About Myself


self love blog


I’m Lovable


I love myself and loving more of who I am. People love me for me but even more so I’m learning to finally love myself. I love that I’m lovable and I love myself so much that I’m willing to do what it takes to make myself happy. I love that I’m loveable because it makes my life easier and I can do things for myself without feeling bad. I’m loveable because I’m sweet, kind and caring and people want to be around that. It’s something I want more out of myself, more kindness for myself from myself.

I’m loveable and that is what I love about me!


I’m Intuitive and Psychic


I love my psychic abilities because it’s something that I wanted since I was a very young girl; to just know things. Through a lot of trial and error and living my life through the lens of the intuitive world I got that and more.

I did something for myself that I really wanted and owned it, so much so that I forgot that this was a conscious choice to lead a psychic life more than I was blessed with fully opened gifts and learning how to deal with them. I love my intuitive self, I love how I can pick up on things, I love that I can know what it is that is really going on around me. I love that I can also help other people find their way through my gifts.

I love how dedicated I am to my own improvement and development of my abilities. I love that everyday I’m finding more ways to include my gifts in everyday life, even make a business out of my talents! It feels good to be me with these gifts and also to share them with others!


 I’m Have Big Dreams to be a Video Game Concept Art Director


I love that I knew my dreams since I was young. I knew that I wanted to be a video game designer and I’m even more thrilled that my dream got even more specific! I love drawing and I love video games. I love storytelling and I want to be a big part of the video game development process. I want to help create the worlds that the story will be setting in, and help the character build his own adventure through my worlds.

I love telling a great story and I love knowing that I can create worlds through my own artistic talents. What I love about me knowing my dreams is that I know who I really am. I love knowing me as that person with big dreams and is willing to omit everything that isn’t serving me to reach that place. I also love being able to create what I want in the present time instead of waiting for that magical moment to happen!


I’m Creative and Whimsical


What I love about myself is that I’m very whimsical, I don’t think like most people. I love that about myself because it gives me that extra edge that most people like to reach for, yet it comes naturally to me. I love being a part of the cutting edge even though it can be scary and uncertain.

I love knowing that my ideas, dreams, and what I think about the world is truly meaningful and changes my life for the better. I love that I can take these ideas and make them real, I love that I have the power and know how to do it easily. I’m so connected and tapped into the source of all things that it’s sometimes scary how things come about in my life. But I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world because that is who I am. I love creating the new, the cutting edge, the different and exciting!

I love my love for the whimsical, different and creative the forces I’m made of!  


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Sunday, July 20, 2014

Vision 53: Artist Manifesto



I want to be an artist because it feels good to create the images in my mind. It feels good to recreate the things I see. I love creating the stories in my head and coloring the pictures I make.

I love making themed things and looking at my drawings and creations. It feels good to morph and shape my pencil sketches with my pens and see the personality of the picture come alive. I love making things that are meaningful to me. I love drawing and being inspired in the moment.

I love creating things that I see outside of me and making them more real in my mind. I love following my inspiration and making characters that are pretty. I love pretty pictures, I love making pretty pictures the most. I love the magic of making a picture pretty, sweet, happy and serene. I love making pretty pictures so much that it's all I want to draw. I want to draw sweet pictures that always makes me feel joy 100% of the time. I love the feeling of making sweet pictures, I love knowing that I make sweet pictures, I love knowing that I’m the one that makes pictures like these. I feel inspired to do more every day. I feel inspired to create more color in my life. I feel more inspired to create from that inspiration.

I want to be an artist because it feels good to me. It feels like my path of least resistance. It’s what gives me joy every day, it makes me really awesome friends. It gives me inspiration to live life more. It gives me ease and a relaxed feeling. It comforts me and I get to express myself.

I love expressing myself. I love creating from my experience. I love knowing that I can create from my experience. I love the feeling of what it feels like to create from my experiences. I love looking at all the art I done. I love seeing how well I did it. I love seeing how I improved. I love feeling the rush of how good it feels to be an artist right here in the moment. It feels good to have that super power. It feels good to know that this will become more.

I love that people see me drawing and love it too. I love that other people love what I love. I love that connection to my source through my work. I love the rush of inspiration. I love that becoming of more of who I am. I want to be an artist because I love it and I can’t stop thinking about it every day. I have to be an artist because that is all that I want to know and do know no matter what I do in this world.

I want to be an artist because it makes me feel really good and I have no excuses not to feel good. I want to be an artist because it’s what I love. I want to draw because it’s what I enjoy and love about being an artist. I want to draw because I can do it. I want to draw because it flows. I want to be an artist because it feels big, huge and I’m already am that.

I want to draw but I am afraid. I’m afraid because I feel like I have to be huge and I don’t feel that I am right here at this moment. I don’t feel huge, but I still feel like an artist. I feel like an artist because I do art all the time in so many different ways. I still draw lots and it’s always become more and more.

I love that no one cares what I draw but me and that I can take control what I draw in every moment. I’m blessed to become an artist, even though I have my ups and downs. I wouldn’t change anything because I love being an artist so much and changing my reality to what I see in my mind.

Being an artist is just being creative and I’m very creative, so I haven’t stopped drawing completely. I’m still creating every day and I’m really good at it. It makes me feel good to see all the creations that I make, see and feel. I’m so happy to be an artist because I’m blessed with the ability to create. I’m blessed I can make the images that I love on the computer. I’m blessed because I can do it. I’m blessed because that is my path, this is what I came here for. This feels right to me. It feels like effortlessness. It feels like it’s calling me gently. It wants me to be there but it’s not forceful. It wants that lovely connection with me. It wants me to connect to it. It wants me to be inspired. It wants me to create whatever I want. It wants me to feel safe. It wants me to be here, right now in this moment to just love and adore myself for being an artist and to know that is my life’s journey and that I enjoy being an artist.

It wants me to just know and to feel it and to just enjoy it. It wants me to love me as an artist and to love my ability to do it.

That’s all, that’s it.

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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Vision 48: The Angel of The Inner Child Finished!

angel atc inner child anime

My first angel artist trading card is finally finished. I actually finished it about a month or so ago but I procrastinated actually posting it up.

artist trading card angel


healing inner child heart

I notice that as much as I love drawing and creating, I’ve been procrastinating on drawing full time again. It honestly scares me to dive deep into something that I love so much. I don’t want to fail or have something bad happen on my way to wherever my dreams are with my art.

I love art so much that I would rather sit around and let it die than risk the hurt of doing it and falling on my face again. If art was my lover, I would be the type of boy that would never commit to the one guy that actually wanted me. I would self-sabotage the relationship early because I would be too afraid to dive deep into its love and fail the expectations I have on myself and my lover.

I don’t want to hurt myself or my art again, as strange as it sounds. Art means everything to me and when you really love someone or something  you do some crazy shit to protect it, even if it hurts you at the end.

Talking about these feelings, I know that there is nothing to be truly afraid of. I shouldn’t draw for a certain outcome but for the fact I can draw at all. Joe told me that and it really meant something to me. I attach so much stuff onto the things I love to make them more “meaningful” that I end up suffocating the passion I have for it altogether and I’m sick of doing that. I just want to enjoy my skills and art again, no matter if I make money from it one day or not, whether people like it or not or whatever end result I’m looking at. That’s not the point to why I draw.

I draw because it’s fun, I draw because it’s comforting, I draw because I love it, I draw because I enjoy it, I draw because it’s my soul's passion in life; so why should I let money or anything else get in the way of that?

I shouldn’t and I’m changing it right now…

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Monday, June 23, 2014

Vision 45: When You Find It

life purpose spiritual calling

When you find that thing that you were meant to do, it always feel so right and true. So many years I’ve been searching for my “thing” but it was right here since the day I was born, my artistic ability and my desire to express myself.

I looked long and hard outside myself because I felt my talents wasn’t  enough, I needed validation from others, money or some sort of result to prove to me that “this was my purpose.” That my purpose is what the world needed from me to be a better place. I see now that purpose isn’t the result of doing something that you love or are called to do, but simply being and doing what you love to do because it gives you joy.

No strings attached, no gaining some type of outcome, not making it a popularity contest, just simply doing what you were meant to do, something that you love to do, something that fills you up and nurtures you in your body and in your soul.

Purpose isn’t what we’ve been told a thousand times from books, movies and gurus, it’s simply doing what you were always drawn to and it doesn’t need the outside standards to be real or purposeful. You don’t even need to live a “happy life,” you simply need to love what you do, do it because you love it, and never stop doing it.

I stopped drawing for many reasons but I didn’t give up on it, I kept drawing and creating even if it meant taking on a whole new different medium. I kept creating during the search for my thing not knowing I was doing it all this time.

Even though I pride myself on my spiritual and psychic skills, I always considered myself an artist first before anything. That is what I always knew and did, it came naturally and I never remembered a time where I didn’t create in some form… It’s just strange (and ironic) how bad I wanted to know who I was, what I was meant to do and why I came to this world, and while I searched long and hard for it, it was the thing I did most.

 Create and express myself…


I thought that my purpose, or purpose in general, was supposed to be laced with a business plan with lots of people being helped and benefiting from your talents. I thought it was supposed to be the thing that people came to you for the most. I thought that purpose was so much more than it really is and my twisted understanding hid the truth that my soul already knew… It’s crazy.

Purpose isn’t a big thing, in fact it’s the most basic thing in life like breathing and eating; we just label it as a big thing because we’re taught that it has to be big. It’s simply doing what you love because you love it, whatever else comes after that is extra. Don’t let the results or lack thereof influence what you’re chosen path in life is, because you do get the choose after all.

So don’t search for it, don’t demand for it, don’t ask god or the universe to gift you with it because you’re probably doing it right now but are too consumed with the “need” of it to see it clearly.

Purpose isn’t “purpose,” it’s simply doing what you love and enjoy with no strings attached and letting the world go by as you’re doing it.

Purpose is simple, purpose is love, purpose is unconditional but it’s not what most of us think it’s supposed to be. Just do what you love and never stop doing it and you’ll be living your purpose perfectly…


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Sunday, June 1, 2014

Vision 38: Earth Angel Match Maker?

romance soul mate match maker

I think I should become a match maker, after watching the Realm Readers course by Doreen Virtue, something inside pointed me to the field of bringing together fairy tale romances. It’s strange because I never was called to such vocation before, though I have a keen sense of relationships and energy compatibility.

I remember plenty of times when I felt the energy between two people and knew if it would last or not. All the times that I went with my feelings, it was right. The partners both romantic and otherwise eventually split apart as I felt something was “off.” I can just feel the energy and have this sense of knowing, even if I don’t know the people involved personally. It’s all an energy thing.

So when I took the Realm Readers course and heard Doreen mention using this system in finding relationships for yourself and others, I felt a special feeling in my stomach. Her mentioning relationships made a light bulb go off in my head. “Would I be a good matchmaker?” was the question that came to me and something I wanted to ask my family. I didn’t think it so much as I received it. It was strange but it was also a big clue.

Before then, the topic of relationships and romance was all over me. A wedding magazine came in a few days ago (the first one ever at that!), whenever I would look at the TV one of the first things I would see or hear was about relationships or marriage. I recently saw an old school My Little Pony doll named Dainty Dove, a pony that day dreams about romantic weddings and even makes a ring for the lucky pony! As soon as I saw her I fell in love, but recently I especially resonated with her and her sweet wedding energy.

pony dainty dove wedding

There was also this strange new energy around me. It felt like the energy of cherubs. It was a fresh, fun and playful romantic energy. It felt as if someone or something new was coming to me and was ready to pop. I felt this for a few days and whenever I tuned into it, I felt the old energy of my twin flame journey turn into this fresh and flirty energy. The old energy was recycling into this new vitality. This energy is something I never felt before and it was exciting.

Then I saw a certain message on the back of a bus yesterday saying something akin to going back to something you once left behind. Of course I thought of the romantic energy and me being knee deep into it but I was determined to follow my guidance and focus on myself purely.

While I was watching the video about the incarnated Cherubs in the Realm Readers course I resonated with their highly romantic and idealism in romance. I even resonated with their issues of perfect beauty. Though I don’t feel I’m completely an incarnated cherub, I do share some key qualities including loving love, day dreaming about meeting “the one,” and enjoying having heart shaped anything around me. Honestly, I might be more cherub than I’m letting on!

cherub cupid spiritual romance

Anyway, I’m feeling in my gut (and even my spirit guide was encouraging me) that I should become some kind of match maker. Though I never done it before, I know what it takes to attract that soul mate to your life through my 2+ years of intense twin flame attraction boot camp. Which makes me think that is the reason why the journey started and ended, so that I can have the know-how and tools to teach others the same thing.

Hmm, the more I talk about this the more it makes sense but I’ll let the universe guide my steps from here on, I’ll just be on the other end listening and following it’s guidance.

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Monday, May 26, 2014

Vision 37: Manifesting My Shabby Chic Life

manifest vintage chic home

I’ve recently been drawn towards the wonders of the shabby chic home this week. Something about it gives me a really warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I also love the antique, worn yet girly pastel look as well. It’s something that speaks to me a lot and the universe have been throwing it in my face lately. I’m actually working on a new vision board about it right now!

attracting new cottage home

The reason why I love shabby chic so much is that it reminds me of the angels and the type of d├ęcor I always enjoyed as a child. It gives me heartfelt feelings and memories that I can’t explain or seem like I even had this lifetime. It feels as though I’m being called to another world entirely, and as a lover of fantasy, I’m always willing to go there.

The girly princess look always fascinated me as well, even though I resonate more with being a prince. That feeling of royalty or the feeling of self-worth is something I always like to cultivate in myself and in my world. I’m often too hard on myself so whenever I can make myself feel good and pampered is a must have in my life and shabby chic fits the bill. The look makes me feel taken care of and loved.

One of my favorite things about shabby chic is the vintage look, it reminds me of the angels on the vintage postcards and paintings that I adore. I always wanted a big angel painting in my future home; every time I see those classic painted roses, the soft pinks and baby blues, the fine details on a second hand vanity or light hitting the hanging crystal chandeliers, I feel quite at home.

Shabby chic gives me a feeling of being in another world as well. I love the feeling it gives me that I’m far away from the typical rat race everyone else is so ingrained in. Learning about myself, that is not how I operate, so creating a relaxing and calming environment is something I desire more than anything. I never want to feel stressed or overwhelmed.

What I want to manifest is a home that is calming, sweet, childlike, relaxing and has that cottage villa feel. I enjoy the look so much and I can imagine myself laying upon my soft couch to do my favorite activities within its soft embrace.

I want paintings of angels, sailor moon and other sweet styled art that I enjoy. I want a really fun yet homely kitchen that is the perfect size for me to cook for myself or my close friends for a get together. And a bedroom that is more like a whimsical toy circus meets an Angelic Pretty store dusted with my love of the spiritual realm.

Writing this out was really powerful and I love using my blog as a means to write out my desires, dreams and list for what I want to manifest in my life! I can’t wait to see what happens as I follow my guidance even more!

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Friday, March 28, 2014

Vision 24: Giving my Dreams another Chance

dream spiritual follow your heart

(I originally wrote this last week) In the last few days since being presented to start finding and pursuing my dreams again, a lot of fear has come up. The fear that I will lose my security of trying to find a job, the fear that my dreams might not work out or that it won’t be perfect.

But my loving guide Joe reminded me that “There is never a good enough excuse to not follow your dreams!” And I can only say, “I should be the one saying that!” I’m the one that gives those “I had a dreams speeches” to people; however, when it comes to my own dreams and aspirations I’ve grown very quiet.

You see, I remembered my first dream which I call my “original dream” because it was the first one where I had a knowingness, almost an intuitive feeling that this is what will really make me happy. Even if I didn’t make a lot of money or fame, somehow I knew that this was right for me. I remember closing my eyes and playing the “what if” game and saw a very beautiful dream of creating a small online shop where I sell my handmade goods.

I saw many others doing it online and absolutely loved the idea of doing it myself, so I took a risk to follow my dreams and thus a true road of discovery was undertaken. However, in the years to come, even in the beginning, my dream turned into an obsession with success and perfection. Which then warped my true (and a whole lot simpler) dream.

I remembered my original dream only one or two days ago. There was no real plans of success (at least to a grand scale), to take over the world or become the first to do something great… All I wanted to do is to create with my hands, package it up and send it to people for an exchange of money. It was nothing like I turned it into for years upon years where I wanted to do something a lot more complex and time consuming. I have no idea what happened, but that dream was buried under a lot of crap, thus making it impossible to see anything else than the superficial goals I thought I wanted and needed to achieve.

So when Joe reminded me of how I had everything I possibly needed (and more actually) to start and achieve my dream, and that my fears and need for perfection was only an excuse, I had nothing to say. I literally couldn’t think of ANYTHING to rebuttal the clear facts he handed to me on a silver platter.

You have no more excuses, so what now?

I guess to swallow the fear and just do it… What is there left to do, honestly?

I don’t want to walk around with a chip on my shoulder because I couldn’t make my dreams come true, or deny my passion for dreams anymore. I’m simply nothing without my dreams; I’m a girl that needs her dreams to be whole. Even if they turn into something else.

The fun and adventure of following my dreams is something I love more than anything, even with the year’s worth of disappointments. I need my dreams, there is no doubt about it.

I need my dreams…

So after about 40 or so minutes of my guide drilling in my head how badly I need to fulfil my own dreams despite EVERYTHING, I decided to push my fears aside, realize that I’m truly in the perfect circumstance and start following and building my original dream again!

It starts now; the time is perfect…

http://theegoldenmirror.blogspot.com/p/readings-sessions.html#!/~/product/category=9100030&id=19400224

I just launched a brand new angel card reading today that goes a lot more in-depth and to the core of your situation. Where I can pick up more subtle clues and guidance about your soul's journey, your current lessons and ways to break the mold of your current struggles. Go check it out if you want some down to earth, fun and creative guidance! 
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