But my loving guide Joe reminded me that “There is never a good enough excuse to not follow your dreams!” And I can only say, “I should be the one saying that!” I’m the one that gives those “I had a dreams speeches” to people; however, when it comes to my own dreams and aspirations I’ve grown very quiet.
You see, I remembered my first dream which I call my “original dream” because it was the first one where I had a knowingness, almost an intuitive feeling that this is what will really make me happy. Even if I didn’t make a lot of money or fame, somehow I knew that this was right for me. I remember closing my eyes and playing the “what if” game and saw a very beautiful dream of creating a small online shop where I sell my handmade goods.
I saw many others doing it online and absolutely loved the idea of doing it myself, so I took a risk to follow my dreams and thus a true road of discovery was undertaken. However, in the years to come, even in the beginning, my dream turned into an obsession with success and perfection. Which then warped my true (and a whole lot simpler) dream.
I remembered my original dream only one or two days ago. There was no real plans of success (at least to a grand scale), to take over the world or become the first to do something great… All I wanted to do is to create with my hands, package it up and send it to people for an exchange of money. It was nothing like I turned it into for years upon years where I wanted to do something a lot more complex and time consuming. I have no idea what happened, but that dream was buried under a lot of crap, thus making it impossible to see anything else than the superficial goals I thought I wanted and needed to achieve.
So when Joe reminded me of how I had everything I possibly needed (and more actually) to start and achieve my dream, and that my fears and need for perfection was only an excuse, I had nothing to say. I literally couldn’t think of ANYTHING to rebuttal the clear facts he handed to me on a silver platter.
You have no more excuses, so what now?
I guess to swallow the fear and just do it… What is there left to do, honestly?
I don’t want to walk around with a chip on my shoulder because I couldn’t make my dreams come true, or deny my passion for dreams anymore. I’m simply nothing without my dreams; I’m a girl that needs her dreams to be whole. Even if they turn into something else.
The fun and adventure of following my dreams is something I love more than anything, even with the year’s worth of disappointments. I need my dreams, there is no doubt about it.
I need my dreams…
So after about 40 or so minutes of my guide drilling in my head how badly I need to fulfil my own dreams despite EVERYTHING, I decided to push my fears aside, realize that I’m truly in the perfect circumstance and start following and building my original dream again!
It starts now; the time is perfect…
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