Vision 91: False Sense of Power

I’m just realizing how much control I really don’t have over the world at large and how much energy I waste in the thoughts and attempts to manipulate the world into what I think it should be.I see that for a good chunk of my life I’ve been worried about what might happen, what is currently happening and what might not happen. When I’m in these thoughts and actions, in hopes to change things into my favor, I lose myself. I lose my sense of self and my sense of being in the present. There is something about worry, anxiety, stress,...

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Vision 90: The Present Moment

It’s been a few days since I started to go back to my self-care routine, following fully in my bliss and deciding to be present in the moment, than dreaming about the future. What I noticed most about my life and manifesting the things that I want is that I assume that just by visualizing, day dreaming and imagining the things I want in the future, somehow, the future will suddenly be here. That I’ll have everything I want, and I’ll be living the life I always wanted. I’ll be different, my personality will be different, my destiny...

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Vision 89: Allowing My True Self

The last few days have been the most peaceful days in my life. Hearing the morning birds, listening to my whispering intuition, sleeping in my bed and thinking about all the things that I want to do with my life, it’s been a huge blessing. I haven’t been online nowhere near as much in the last few days and I contribute my peacefulness to that. Being online, as much as I love it, drives me to strive for things that simply aren’t for me nor is my business. I have a pretty good idea at this point on the type of life I want to live,...

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Vision 88: Determination

All my life I've been waiting for someone or something to come to rescue me from myself, the life that I let too many people take control of for years. Only till now, did I see that no one "out there" is able to bring me the life that I truly want because it's not something that is already out there readily made and packaged for me. I have to go out and create the life that I want, to blaze the trail of my own power and future legacy, not sit around and hope that people will allow me to shine. I'm doing myself a disservice expecting that someone outside of me is going to somehow give me permission to be able to do what...

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Vision 87: Undo

It's been so many moons since I gave myself the time, effort and self-love to come back to this blog, despite my current situation.  So much has happened since my last blog post, I'm like a different person, yet, when I go through these pages I struggle to keep my playful attitude in life.  I am different, I know a lot more about myself since I left my family and I surely don't regret any of my choices so far, but I'm frustrated with life and I'm frustrated with myself. I just want things to work, I just want things to happen right now. I want my own space now, I want to draw on the computer now, I want to...

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Vision 86: How I feel About Art

I came to my attention that, the more art I see, the more I see it as a logical, left brained, and polished thing. I don't know what it is, but when I was browsing on DA, a lot of the art I saw, I couldn't help but feel suffocated, and just "meh." It's not that it's not drawn well, or anything like that, but it's becoming more of who is the best, what is popular, and this analytical way of being an artist. I think the more I try to get into art like I was "years ago" the more I don't like it. The constant need to have a polished picture, things being drawn the right way, skimming through art sites to see what is popular....

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Vision 85: Forgiveness

  Yesterday was pretty amazing, I chose to finally make peace with my own sense of low worth, guilt and shame. It felt good to finally put the past in its place and not make it such an important part of my life today, as if I had to atone for all the wrongs I did. The most interesting part was the burning process. After writing out exactly how I felt, the situation I felt guilty of, the reasons behind it and my intent, the words burned to a crisp in mere seconds. I barely had to touch the ashes for it to all burn away. The...

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