Vision 13: I want

The last couple of days or even this past week I’ve been noticing a growing trend of my old feelings of wanting things that caused me great pain in the past coming back up to the surface.

These things stem from my wanting of popularity and validation… At this point in my life, deciding to move into my lunar side this year, I don’t understand why I still want to indulge in the things that keep me blinded from who I really am.

I do believe that whatever it is that we desire we can have, at the same time if the path there is painful then there is a lot to consider. All of my strides for popularity over the years haven’t been the best; in fact it limited me to only thinking in a certain way. I was scared to grow past those limitations and quite frankly it made my life pretty dull compared to the freedom I gave myself recently.
 
Yet, when I see others having things that I want time and time again, I start to slowly convince myself that maybe the timing wasn’t right, or that I have to do things in a different way, or something to justify my “failure” of not achieving something great. A part of this is due to the fact that I am finding myself again in this different stage of life, I would say “adult” but that doesn’t suit me… I’ll go with “more responsible.” ;)

When you don’t know who you are you will want the outside to decide that for you and validation of who you think you are by other's praises. It’s so easy to fall into that trap because it seems like the easy answer, but it’s not. It’s the tough answer and a hard bitch to please because there will always be someone that will think you’re wrong, inappropriate or just fucking bad. You are truly playing with fire…

Anyway… Taking the time to explore my feelings I again see the role I am indeed playing, and I can gently remind myself of why seeking outside validation isn’t for me. It’s not who I am… It’s not who I want to be… Who I really want to be, to experience and to be apart of is the greater part of myself. My emotions, my inner world, my self expression and my creativity; god knows I need no one’s permission for that.

That is why I’m blogging as I am, speaking my truth no matter how it looks to others. Because I don’t care what people might think, all I want is to express all the parts of me. I gain personal satisfaction of that and that is enough for me. All the outside validation comes from an insecure place, perhaps one of a younger age that I’m currently growing out of. In any event, I don’t blame myself for this; I’m going to love myself exactly as I am. But I do want to make clear that my goal is not for people to “see me,” but for me to see and be the true me, without any fucked up filters or limitations.

I feel good talking about what I am talking about, showing my love for things and getting in touch with who I am in a deeper, meaningful way. That means more to me than 1000 people loving something I did with less consideration, or at least I would like to think that… But I am fickle… Once I get what I want I will want something else, so I guess it doesn’t really matter. I just want to enjoy what I’m doing because I’m doing it, not because people will shower me with love and appreciation…

I have to remind myself of my goals often, or I’ll slip back into my old routine of wanting things that kept me from blossoming into the women I am becoming. Only now I know this because I’ve detached myself enough to see the bigger picture of what was actually happening than what I thought was happening.

I guess with that I can say that I’ve come quite the way since I started my new lifestyle of Zen about a month ago. The road is indeed a successful one. :)

I haven't blogged about this yet but I've started a fun little series this week about manifesting your soul mate on my fan page. By all means if you are interested like me on Facebook to get daily tips all the way up to Valentine's day to manifest true love in your life!

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Vision 12: Gaining The Permission to be Me

The last few days have been full of great realizations through emotional upheaval and feelings of anxiety. I came to the point where I knew that being a coach, trying to look great in front of others or trying to be this beacon of light so I’m validated in life isn’t the lifestyle I want or need.

I got attached to this notion in recent years that if people loved and valued you, than that was your worth. When I decided to change my lifestyle of that of Zen and peace, that fact was no longer valid. But in my recent dip in my own negative feelings and my old story, I started to see this fact in a new way. I can’t say how I’m seeing it more differently now vs. then, but I actually saw myself acting out my self perceived role in life. Where I try my damndest to overcome myself and anything I thought was holding me back because I felt inferior.

That is not the life I want to live anymore, that is the point I’ve come to. I notice that I do treat life as a battle field and I’m always the underdog that has to do a lot more just to get by. I want to think that the struggle is a divine sign of how powerful I am, but in truth, it’s the role I chose to play all these years. I don’t have to struggle if I don’t want to, but since I believed in this story that I was always the weak one, I did everything in my power to change that. Not through my internal perception but through these twisted social rules.

If I am weak, I have to prove that I am strong. If I am quiet, I have to be loud. If I am slow moving, I have to be fast. If I am not ambitious, I have to be hard working, etc, etc… I honestly lost myself between who I was and who I thought I needed to be. The lines became so blurred that life didn’t make sense if I wasn’t trying to change myself for the better. Life as I knew it wasn’t mine to enjoy, but something I have to prove my worthiness to.

In knowing that I didn’t have to do anything to prove myself, I became afraid that I didn’t know who I was anymore. I honestly felt lost in the world because I no longer had this “dream” or ambition to prove my worthiness anymore. It’s clear that I base too much of my worth on “results” and a lot of external factors.

I guess that is why choosing to dive deep in myself has been so beneficial to me. I’m not doing this to prove myself, I’m not looking for praise, and I don’t want to be seen or be out there… And most of all, I’m ignoring “reality.” I’m no longer making it a point to prove myself to anyone or anything. All my life is about is my happiness, peace and serenity. And in that period where I reverted back to the old story, I saw how damaging my self perceived role was.

I wasn’t being the underdog soon to be hero; I was just like the many people in the world unaware of their true freedom of choice.  I DON’T have to struggle. I DON’T have to prove myself. I DON’T have to overcome life and other’s expectations. And I surely DON’T have to live in a way that doesn’t serve me because I feel “my role in life” is through struggle to become someone great. There is no such thing because I’m already great, perfect, proven and worthy. So why am I causing so much self-inflected pain when I now know this on such a deep level?

Because I chose to do so… But now I’m choosing peace, ease and the easy life no matter how anyone else views me. I already know who I am and that person is very worthy so I no longer have to dig deep into struggle, pain or some internal war to somehow gain the permission to be me…

If you want to know who you are on the deepest level that is available to you, you can order my popular aura reading The Crystal Code. Where I intuitively pick up the very colors in your aura, what they mean and how they are effecting your life in this very moment. This is the most in depth reading I offer and is great for those that are stuck in their life or don't know how to move forward in their current situation.

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Vision 11: Friday Favorites #2

After missing the last Friday Favorites as well as going through a rough emotional patch, I think it’s time for another Friday Favorites! Where I list 5 things that I’ve seen in the last week that I totally love!

Abraham Hicks- Does Your Frequency Harmonize With Your Desire?

This is just what I needed to hear today after going through yet another rough emotional week. It was really tough managing my emotions but once I “let go” and just surrendered, I found myself listening to what I REALLY needed to hear. Just go general, don’t fight your resistance; it won’t make your life any easier. Wise words that I’ve forgotten over the last week or two. I highly recommend this video if you’re having trouble with your desires or emotions right now.

The Rider Tarot Deck

Just two nights ago I discovered the awesome power of the tarot first hand. Long story short, after an emotional night, I was guided to shuffle the Major Arcana cards that my sister gave me years ago. Between the meanings of the cards and my own interpretations of them, I was simply blown away. Never did I have a card deck dive so deep into my conscious and even subconscious mind. I was sold on that first experience. Funny enough, I wanted to get into the tarot years ago but I thought I had to study the cards first before I can read them. But when I simply followed the card’s meanings, my intuition took over and they were quite easy to read! Because of that, I have to buy myself The Rider Tarot Deck for myself; I’m completely addicted to the tarot now!

Chicago - Will You Still Love Me

This is my top favorite song of all time, no lie. I remember hearing this for the first time when I was a pre-teen and fell madly in love with the song. What really got me hooked was the fourth part of the song with the guitar solo in the background; it completely rocked my world and still does to this day. As a grade A hopeless romantic, even as a child, this was my shit and my love for this song hasn’t left yet.

Ancients

I just saw this last night and I honestly have no words of how beautiful this video is. I’ve always been a fan of these types of videos of the moving cosmos, but god, this is so absolutely stunning. To know that you can actually see such a beautiful night sky like this is beyond me. Only up to a few years ago did I learn you can go to the remote places of the world and see stars like that. One of the things I want to do before I die is to see that night sky myself. I feel that I will be the closest I would ever be to my true home in the divine. :’D

Kawaii Coffee Milk Figurine

Okay, I cheated with this one since I seen this weeks ago, but I thought it was so cute that I showcase it anyway. I have no idea who this character is since she came from a Japanese website, but I know she personifies coffee milk, or is the mascot of a Milk company. Simply put, I fell head over heels for this girl, she is so insanely adorable! Not to mention she personifies food which is one of my favorite concepts to play with. Hands down, the design is top notch and I would LOVE to own her if I was able to, or understand Japanese to buy one haha! 

I hope you all enjoyed this FF, tell me if you have a favorite from this week or liked what I listed here. Talk to you all soon, bye! 

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Vision 10: My Room

Yesterday, I finally finished cleaning my room. Me and my room have quite the history… When I first obtained it in high school we were great friends. I would clean it every week and enjoy myself in my own fanciful energy; my room was really MY room. However, after I got into college that is when things started to go sour.

I wanted to rearrange my room to celebrate this new phrase in my life, but it never happened. Being as patient as I am, waiting for the help to rearrange my room slowly turned into me accepting that my room was a very lack luster place to be in. I stopped cleaning my room as often, and slowly as personal problems kept popping up it was just a place for sleeping, watching TV, drawing and video games. It was no longer MY room, but just a room I did things in.

Fast forward many years later up to about last week, I felt the universe push me to clean out my old stuff. This prompted me to finally finish cleaning out my room which I started a few months back. Every day last week I worked hours to get rid of old papers, cleaning walls, vacuuming and finally cleaning off years’ worth of caked on dust in the very obvious places in my room. These are the things I never wanted to bother with in my room because I figured I would have moved out before I could get the room that I wanted. However, even with life being rather complex right now I found cleaning my room and seeing it sparkly clean so satisfying, even if I don’t get to enjoy it very long.

It’s just good to finally say good-bye to the old stuff, the old me and just the old energy to let in this new vibrant self. That is what feels so awarding! Better yet, when I was cleaning my room my mom asked if I wanted to move stuff around and of course I said “Yes!” Even the help I needed came so easily when it was like pulling teeth many times before which added to my discouragement. I thought I needed to wait for someone else to help me, but by taking life in my own hands and listening to those inner nudges not only am I finally moving forward, but the help I need is falling into place without effort. It’s just a wonderful feeling!

This gave me a great opportunity to finally make my room fantasy themed as I always wanted it. I even want to paint the walls light pink, but that will have to come later, maybe I’ll manifest the paint magically ha-ha. With my creative and artistic know how I can create many stunning decorations, posters and pictures to help beatify my room just the way I like it.

When I looked at my goals for 2014 I read “make my room fantasy themed” and I was in awe! Before I even remembered that goal, my intentions are manifesting right in front of me, because I’m sticking to what the universe have been guiding me to do. Thus, all the pieces have been coming together and I couldn’t be more thankful!

Even though I’m fighting some old feelings and even new ones about my current path of rewriting other people’s personal stories, I can’t deny that getting out of my own way for the universe to guide me have been the best thing for me. Even though I can get impatient with life, I know that letting the universe handle it and taking action when I feel inspired to have created much greater results than I could ever try to stack up to. Hell, 2013 was a great testament to my own undoing by trying to control everything.

I’m still giving the universe my troubles, issues, fears and worries because the answers I’ve been receiving have been far greater than I could ever hope for, and when things get tough I know that I don’t have to do it all by myself.

For now, even with my current fears, I will move forward with the opportunities the universe have laid out for me, I won’t run away and I won’t sabotage myself… I’m going to keep going no matter what.

I truly owe myself that…

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Vision 9: The End of Wallflower Girl?

Something amazing yet so subtle came to me this morning… That maybe where I’m being guided to and doing currently is “changing my personal story.” I didn’t quite understand it at first, at least on a bigger picture level and I still don’t have that type of perception of that idea. I do know that right now I’m currently standing in a place where I want to know how I can do this for others… How I can rewrite people’s personal stories…

This doesn’t come from a place where I’m trying to take a concept and control it like I always do, but accepting this gift and asking how can I make it grow. Because I do love the concept, in fact I was thinking about it a whole lot this week. This morning before I made breakfast, all I could do was daydream, imagine and dig deeper into this subtle feeling of helping other people rewrite their own stories.

 Honestly, it was coming to the point of “overthinking it” and I felt that slight resistant feeling of “I want to control this,” but it was my way of making sure if this was the path for me. I didn’t decide that I wanted to rewrite people’s stories, to help change who they think they are, but the universe put me on the path of such and I very much enjoy it.

I just don’t want to repeat history of trying to make a small idea into a whole journey of trying to be successful. It just doesn’t work for me and I know that now. I just want to know and be guided to what is best for me, because so far trusting the universe and myself to bring about the things I want has been working. I’m a lot happier with myself and things are starting to really flow and manifest as proof that I can control my life without “controlling it.” So why do I want to doubt this too? Why do I want to think this is just me wanting to control life and trying to fill voids of love and appreciation?

 This, my friends, is my old story…

The wallflower girl that feels she had to earn the right of having the things she want because she isn’t outgoing enough, popular enough, smart or pretty enough and all that bullshit. The girl that someone else have to save because she has no idea how to make life work for her, so she can be the princess at the end of the story. Where she accepted living not getting what she wanted (or died trying) if not had been this sudden outside force.

I still can’t fully believe that I’m changing that story, so when an opportunity like this that can bring about an even bigger change in my life and personal story my instinct is to run, overthink it and try to sabotage it through my need to control.

I see now that this IS the right thing for me to do, and I just have to get up and take the first step, but my fears of change and really ending the story of “poor me” is indeed… Challenging… What is a girl to do?

Well, just do it, trust and be happy because indeed I am pleased about this. It’s just my fears are coloring this opportunity so that I can ruin yet another chance to be the princess at the end of my story.

So I ask Universe, what is the next step? What is the next step to make this into a reality while I’m changing so much of my life already? I’m accepting this and won’t run from it because I’m no longer the poor wallflower girl that never gets what she wants. I’m now changing that to the quirky girl that does get whatever she wants, that is full of love and the world loves her back. So as this is my story, why would I turn down such an awesome idea and opportunity?

I’m ready for it Universe, angels, unicorns and fairies, guide me and I will follow…

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Vision 8: Drawn in the World of Stories

It’s been a long time since I last blogged and I sure do miss it. I feel that more and more I’m being sucked into the world of words, writing, books, expression through words and the life of being a writer. I don’t know what it is, but I’m really enjoying myself getting even more in touch with my lunar feminine side.

There is just something about that dark and rather mysterious space that really draws me in. It’s almost like an addiction. Then again, I’m not a big fan of the light or being “out there” in reality (though I love praise and appreciation for what I do). I like being behind the scenes and in dark places. I just feel at home in that kind of environment even though I resonate with solar masculine energy, but maybe that is why I’m rather sensitive to the light… I already have more than enough in me and to burn off after 2013 when I focused on that solar energy than my lunar energy. Anyway…

I feel that I’m being called to this true self expressive space through words, typing, communication, internal worlds, the heart and stories.

 Yes… Stories have been a huge thing for me this week. In the concept of changing my own personal story, I felt that tug in my heart that lets me know “I really like this.” It’s like I’m a child seeing my favorite toy for the very first time again. It’s just that enchanting feeling of being drawn into something that seems bigger than yourself but feels so familiar. I have no idea how I missed this sudden sign post to my heart, but I know I’ve gotten subtle whispers and signs that pointed me there before.

I didn’t think it had to do with anything bigger than just a fun hobby or even skills I needed to develop. But now I see this resonance to write has a much bigger purpose and role than I could ever expect; I still don’t know what that is but I trust that I am going in the right direction. Something in me says that I am and I’ve been seeing my life path number “37” (37/10 to be exact) a whole lot more in the past few days.

When I saw it on my digital clock this morning I wanted to know what it meant when suddenly the words “you’re in the right path” came into my consciousness. It happened so fast that I spoke the words before I knew it was clear intuitive guidance; it made me feel so good to know that life is finally flowing in the right direction again when things wasn’t like that just a few short weeks before.

What also grabbed my attention towards the world of typing and words was the sudden dysfunction of my Microsoft Word 2003. For some odd reason I couldn’t save any new documents because of a weird message saying I didn’t have enough disk space, when in fact I have plenty! Once the errors continued the next day I knew it wasn’t just some crazy one time deal, I knew the universe was trying to push me somewhere. Before I complied, I tried to look up some possible solutions but nothing substantial came up. I knew that if I start this sudden “fight” to keep things the way they were, I wasn’t going to be happy; so I decided to change and switch to the Microsoft Word 2010 Starter that I had.

Even though it felt strange and even wrong to use this highly upgraded version of a program I already know so well; I knew that this is what I needed. After using it, learning its interface and knowing that I didn’t have to pay to use its basic features, I was sold. Today I’m using it and it feels quite natural and I love it.

Imagine if I fought this change... I would be quite upset still and flustered about my life being unfair and cruel, when in fact I was being “guided” in the right direction!

Sometimes, you just have to go along with the story baby…

Want to know what the universe is possibly showing you about your life path and purpose? You can order the Life Purpose Spread to uncover the messages and meanings about your life and what you signed up to do before you were born to help you align to your higher purpose!

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Vision 7: Finding my Individuality

I recently found that the person that I am currently is the very best person I could ever be. That no matter what it is that I do or what opinion another person has, I will forever be perfect.

That was hard to say not too long ago, because for a very long time I felt that I wasn’t good enough. That I had to be stronger, more dynamic, louder and just the opposite of whom I am at my very core.

What changed is looking and clearing out all the old junk and papers that I was holding on to for security. Looking at every old drawing, paper, letter, and anime printout was a reminder of who I always was. Yet I started to question that part of myself. I wasn’t sure if who I knew myself to be in the present was the same as whom I was born as. It was scary to think that along the way of my journey that I veered off of who I really am. It took me some time to realize that my personality was threatened by this deemed unworthy part of myself that I tried to change.

The littler girl that I felt was too quiet, wasn’t ambitious enough and was just a wallflower that will never get anything out of life. Yet I was so wrong. Man was I wrong… Because in that emptiness, these beautiful opalescent colors and hues emerged from this clear crystal like energy that made me feel invisible to the world.

In me thinking that I was nothing, I contained everything. Man, what a complex…

I could go on about how bad I felt about myself but what does that matter now? For the last 24 hours the concept of “your personal story” has been washing across my mind. That whatever story you hold on too, is the very story you will continue to live. And yes, I’m one of those girls that felt out of place, misunderstood and felt bad luck was always present in her life. I never felt that I ever got a real break or was good enough to actually have one. To suddenly be rained upon the things I always wanted like popularity, love, money, opportunities and so much more. I felt that I wasn’t the right personality for it. But I’m continuing to change that, especially today.

I won’t continue the story where I’m a part of a negative family legacy, where I’m always the bad guy, where I have to feel guilty about someone else’s emotions, that I feel that it’s my job to save the world through my own personal sacrifice. That I’m that girl that never get what she wants, that I have to settle, that I can’t love myself or feel powerful, that I have to fear other people not liking what I say or do and god, so much more. All of that stuff is so old and based on times that has already past! I don’t need to identify with that story and I can be exactly who I am and be pretty damn proud of it too!

It’s not just changing my story that feels so powerful but feeling the increasing distance of my emotional attachment to my family, their emotions and what is happening around me. It’s been about a week since I decided to take control over my emotions and I have to say, a week later, I see and feel a major difference. I’m not grabbed by the balls by my emotions everyday where I’m feeling fear, happiness, nervousness, anxiety, and excitement all in one day.

But mostly, I don’t feel doubt (as much) about myself in some way, that I’m not good enough or whatever enough to get what I want without having to prove myself first.

All of this gave a rebirthing to my individuality, the self that I am at my core. Not the bullshit I attached myself to because I liked it, was born in it, associated with or felt that I needed it in some way. NO, this is me on a level that I have yet to reach in my life. The self that is so pure, able and right without the outside shit, where there is no telling that this is who I am.  In knowing that, I feel more able to go out into the world with my head up high about how I go about and think about life. That is a very powerful thing for me…

With that, I can finally create a new story I can truly identify with. A story where I’m the hero, where life works for me and who I am is perfect no matter who has an opinion about my life. And that feels so good to embody now…

So I’m going to end this post with this personal quote:

“Life is a story and when you know how to write it, you can be a full fledged creator of your experience.” – The Crystal Dreamer

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Vision 6: How I Manifested a Positive Day

Yesterday was simply amazing! With all the inner work and changes I've been doing with having a positive mindset, I have no doubt that positive expectations, thoughts and beliefs create a positive reality.

It happened when my good friend Ranz (his nickname) asked me via G-talk if I wanted to hang out with him and our friends for his birthday. Of course I said yes, especially since I didn't go last year because me and his girlfriend wasn't on the best of terms. Last year however we finally straighten things out so I was comfortable with hanging out with her.

The days coming up I wasn't sure what to expect with everything considered but I kept positive. I insisted that it wouldn't be as big of deal as I was making it like it was a huge event that I had to dress up for. In fact, I'm not even sure why I was thinking that since Ranz said we'll be playing video games and hanging out. I think it was my money situation and just having everything go perfectly (Virgo moon shit) that made me a bit nervous generally.

The night before, I intended that everything will be more than okay, everyone will get along and that Ranz's birthday will be a positive experience. I believed in this intention and thought that nothing less will come of it even if my beliefs did sway.

The day of things started off pretty well. I found an old card game an ex previously abandoned that I was going to give to Ranz as his birthday present. Before I left, my sister gave me five dollars and a bus token so I didn't have to spend it to make change to get home. As I was walking towards the bus stop I felt really good and at peace. I had this connection with everything, it was really nice especially being hauled up in the house doing self healing work.

The travel there was great including the small walk to Ranz's house. It's been a while since I last visited so it was nice just being in his neighborhood. In fact, the journey there and back was the most decent travel I had by myself in a while. Not to mention the MANY signs of my twin flame that was present! 

So I get to his house and it's just me, him and his girlfriend where he gifted me Mana Khemia 2, the sequel of the game I borrowed from him some time ago! I loved the original game and when he mentioned that he gotten the sequel, I wanted to borrow it after he was done with it.

Apparently, the sequel doesn't work in his PS3 so he gave it to me, though I have to see if it will work in my own PS3. To make the gift sweeter he got the original box that included the soundtrack and poster, whoa! I'm head over heels over video game soundtracks so to receive a physical copy of one is a true treat! He also loved his gift which was awesome! That is probably the last of the ex's stuff I have and I'm intending on a lot of new things this year so I'm trying to get rid of everything!

Fast forward a bit, more friends come over and they're setting up the T.V so we can play the Wii, and suddenly I'm told we're going to the local buffet. When Raz's originally told me the birthday plans, there was no mention of buffets so I didn't bring that much money. However, since Ranz did forget to tell me that bit, his girlfriend was going to pay for me. HOLY COW lol, didn't see that coming! :O

It was such a nice gesture and I was very thankful especially since I'm not rolling in the dough (help me roll in the dough here.) After a few rounds of Super Smash Brothers Brawl we went to the buffet and had a really good time. I ate my freak'n head off! I also notice that while I was getting food, I felt this sense of normalcy. Usually, I have this feeling of going to the buffet as if it was going to be the last time I'm going to go. This time however, it felt so normal, as if I wasn't hung up on the next time I was going to go. Granted I was still UBER excited because buffets are one of my favorite places, but I wasn't holding tight to very moment with my very last breath.

That makes me think that my point of attraction has shifted quite a bit since I started doing my chakra work last week. I feel the difference and it's a good difference! After 3 plates of pure bliss we headed back to Ranz's place and played more video games.

This is when things get really interesting with deliberate creation, positive thinking and all that. When me, Ranz, and Jer was playing NBA Jam, the updated version, Ranz and Jer was on one team, while I was on my own team with a computer player. Holy shit, from the very beginning the computer controlled player was dunking, blocking, crossing and simply dominating the game!

After some time my team was ahead almost 20 points! It was literally insane how good the computer player was compared to all of us, even when I had the best stats of the four of us if I remember correctly! And boy, we laughed so much! The game is so much fun to play. Pushing and stealing the ball from each other, blocking shots and doing insane dunks was a scream. Seeing how great the computer player was for my team, I was convinced that my positive intentions manifested this.

This weird lucky streak entered in Mario Party 8 that we played as well. Even though I didn't win the whole game, or many of the mini games, 95% of my dice rolls were about 8 or higher. I didn't even notice it till near the middle of the game. Again, I feel like my positive mindset was reflecting back at me.

Even when I was doing so horribly at playing a mini game of trying to trace shapes, I had a good time! I wasn't used to the Wii controls so my hand was very unsteady and the controls were extremely sensitive so every movement was sharp and fast. Which made the colored line I was drawing more like I was painting the whole damn rock! We all had such a good laugh when one of Ranz's friends mentioned how bad I was doing! It was just a magical moment.

The rest of the night was typical of any birthday, family visits, more laughing, cake and ice cream, the birthday song which was hilarious too! I had such a great time there, especially with the things I'm dealing with, this was a much needed break. Even when I was traveling home I encountered a really positive experience!

When I got off the bus I was going to go up the breeze way which is like an ally made a lovechild with a city street. When it's night time it can be intimidating to walk through by yourself. So when I started to make my way up I also notice one person (which I thought was a young man) walking up and another man on a bike. I had my guard up and decided to stop and let them pass me (I wasn't trying to get mugged for 10 dollars.) That's when the one I thought was the younger guy was actually a women haha!

She said that I can walk up the breeze way with her and that her male friend would watch us from the bottom of the street. You have no idea how crazy this coincidence is!

So we walked up a block where she proceeded to watch me the rest of the way since her destination was only so far up the street. I pretty much jogged most of the way home and was so insanely thankful for this chance meeting! You can't make this stuff up, I believe the angels were looking out for me on that one. Overall, the day went way better than I expected!

And Here's a Check List of Some of the Wonderful Things I Manifested that Say!

• Me having a really good time with Ranz's girlfriend where she even treated me at the buffet

• Me and his girlfriend getting along just fine

• Getting the sequel to one of my recently deemed favorite games

• Ranz loving his gift as well as giving that card game away

• Eating a shit ton of cake and food, like seriously... It was ridiculous how much I ate

• Being around so many of Ranz's family and friends where we all laughed and had a really good time

• Having two landslide victories at NBA Jam and having a good time doing it

• Getting tons of signs about my twin flame and somehow had someone watch me walk most of the way home

There is no doubt that holding that positive intention and just working on my perspective and lifestyle really gave birth to an amazing experience! This really let me know that real shifts are happening in my life even if I'm not getting exactly what I want now (job, money, etc.)

 But with that even said I've been getting loads of other things that I couldn't imagine happening like this amazing blogging experience, a deepening sense of self, healing my chakras, doing yoga and enjoying it plus so much more!

By far if you want a positive life experience, you have to start cultivating it and watch the magic happen despite whatever is happening around you. Slowly but surely you'll see things happening but you have to also keep on the wagon because you will be pushed off in the beginning sometimes. 

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Vision 5: My Love List #4

My Love List #4

• I love Cooking with Dog because I love learning about simple and easy Japanese recipes I can make for myself!

• I love my fan pages because I can connect with other people like myself and show off my blogs and what I love.

• I love my egg and cheese sandwich I had last night because it tasted really good and filled me up!

• I love the orange and lemon tea I had last night because it had a lot of flavor and I didn't need a tea bag to make it!

• I love manga because it takes me to another place in the universe. That and I can indulge in another person's imagination and art style.

• I love cleaning out my stuff last night because I'm finally letting go of all the things that no longer resonates with me. That and I can make more room for the new!

• I love my computer because it gives me so many opportunities to build the life that I want!

• I love my blog because I can indulge and share my journey in emerging into someone I thought I could never be!

• I love the color purple because it's such a fun color, that and I love the different hues it can come in!

• I love Office Word because with this word processor I am able to get my thoughts out a lot faster than writing them out normally.

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Vision 4: Friday Favorites

Today I want to start a new fun thing for me to again, focus on more of what I do want and currently love than on what I don't want or currently hate. I call it "Friday Favorites" and it's basically me listing 5 of my favorite things that I came across in the last week. So lets start!

Abraham Hicks: Why Fight for Our Limitations?

This was a video that really opened my eyes and showed me the higher perceptive of the recent clash I had earlier this week. Point being, you can never control outside conditions to make yourself feel good, there is no point. You're so much better off changing how you feel in yourself because you can never truly satisfy another. In fact, you're not even responsible for how they feel so whatever opinion another has about you, it doesn't matter. What matters is what YOU feel about yourself!

Tara Bliss: Judging Others

This video hit home and resonated so deeply in how I'm currently feeling about myself and my own family. With my path truly opening, a lot of inner changes have to take place. Changes and personal things that have to be met by me in which I'm not open to share with my family. I feel they won't understand because they have their own idea of "realty" that is very much different than mine. With everything that's been going on, I refuse to defend or justify my choices and lifestyle. For a long time I wanted to be honest with them so they will understand but that craving to be understood is keeping me in limbo.

This video reminded me that it's fine to be who I am, and it's also fine where your friends and family are at too. I nor do my family need to judge each other and it's not required to explain myself. We're are were we are and it's fine to be there. After listening to this video (for the second time) I see even more that I'm truly finding my individuality outside my family, lack luster circumstances and negative programming.

EXO's Show Time Episode 6

KOREAN BOYZ KOREAN BOYZ KOREAN BOYZ but seriously...

I absolutely adored this episode of EXO's Show Time! I can go on forever but I'll highlight two of my favorite parts of the video. My ultimate bias Tao being tiredly interviewed by D.O and Baekhyun and the windy as fuck BBQ train wreck with Chen and D.O. My poor boys was eating bitter burnt meat, but hey, at least Chen and D.O tried to cook it, right? I mean it was a typhoon out there!

Idiot's Guide to Chakras

This by far was the greatest resource for me in the last couple of days! With all of my chakra issues being shown to me to heal, I was able to get a leg up on them through this book. It's so intensive, the book goes over the signs of blocked and overactive chakras, yoga poses to ease them and so much more. Seriously, this book is worth its weight in gold and I never needed another book or source for chakra information since buying it years ago!

Vision 2: My Love List

Even though I made a lot of in depth blog posts, my new Love List  has to be my favorite. After making that blog post is when I truly felt that this blog was what I always wanted for years. To have a clean slate to be exactly who I am without hiding behind any labels, niches, bios, woulds or shoulds. I'm healing myself in a lot of ways through writing my story and having this blog be about the story vs. the blog being about me. This blog is the total result of my "overflow" of what I love, which is the very essence you need to manifest whatever it is that you want!

I hope you enjoyed this week's Friday Favorites and I'm off for the weekend (of hopefully writing blogs since I'm really enjoying this) so if you want a reading I'm available to take orders!

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Vision 3: Emotional Attachment and Security

Security always ran deep in me, being a Taurus that should be a no brainer but in the last year my lack of inner security has been very much highlighted. In my feelings of fear and lack of true stability I fought hard to find it outside myself. In fact, I feel the reason why everything I tried, businesses, jobs and personal changes failed in 2013 was directly linked to my lack of (I got the word faith) security in myself and in my external world.

Today, I was fighting for control over the razor-sharp agonizing emotions of a really bad blow up between me and another family member that I live with. Instead of trying to render my emotions useless, I had to get really honest with myself. It was clear... I digested everything that was said and how I felt on a very deep level that night.

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Vision 2: My Love List #1

Last month when I decided that I needed to change my lifestyle to center around gratefulness I started reading The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. I really took to the gratitude list because it was simple, fun yet challenging to really look for things to be grateful for. Though technically you can be grateful for well... Everything, but that is not the point.

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Vision 1: I'm in Control of my Emotions

 

Today was really interesting, I found out that I'm very much controlled by my emotions, and when I mean controlled, I mean grabbed by the balls kind of control. Which is ironic because for the longest time I've been focusing on positivity and managing my negative emotions.

What I learned about myself is that I'm very extreme in my emotions. I can be really passionate about something one day, then the next or whatever length of time, that passion cools off a lot. The oddest thing, or maybe not by the Law of Attraction, I make these huge decisions based on how I'm feeling in that very moment. 

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